The night before the morning after

Pre-‘ramble’ – I decided this week to focus on dialogue but also ended up writing in ‘txt’ speak… Go figure.  Happy reading.

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Me:  “Glad ur online, need sympathy.  Feel shite.”

Stacie:  “Wots up?”

Me:  “Was out with usual crowd but it got messy.  Stayed out 2 long on the ol’ vino.”

Stacie:  “Silly cow. When will u learn? LMAO.”

Me:  “Thanx 4 support.”

Stacie:  “U knows I luvs u. <3”

Me:  “OMG. Having flashback from hell.”

Stacie:  “And… ;D”

Me:  “Came home and went into my garden, thght fresh air wld help drunkness.  Got out there and heard two people having sex in garden next door.  Snuck a peek through fence to see who it was… Was scared shitless wot I’d see, as neighbours r Octogenarians… “

Stacie:  “Eeww.  You looked?  Nasty.”

Me:  “I know… Anyways, who did I bloody see?  Tinkerbell!!!!!! “

Stacie:  “You’re taking the piss??????”

Me:  “Seriously.  She had wings, a sparkly dress, badly bleached hair and was about the height of Barbie.”

Stacie:  “You sure it wasn’t Barbie?”

Me:  “No, she was a ‘fully functioning’ fairy who liked a bit of action.  Not only was she having sex with the ‘Ken’ of the fairy World but other fairies were watching and cheering.”

Stacie:  “Tinkerbell is a dogger?  LOL.”

Me:  “Yep.  And when she saw me she laughed; then gave me the finger. At that point I passed out as next thing woke up in the garden this morning.”

Stacie:  “Classy 😉  Listen love, I suggest you don’t go back to that pub again as think someone slipped something in ur drinks. Got to go.  Speak l8trs. x.”

I sat at the table wondering which bastard had drugged me when I noticed a black mark on my hand.  I tried to rub it off but it wouldn’t shift.  I looked at it closely and it was a note:

‘Glad you enjoyed the show! See ya nxt wk.  😉 Tx’

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Word count  – 300

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