Pre-‘ramble’ – I decided this week to focus on dialogue but also ended up writing in ‘txt’ speak… Go figure. Happy reading.
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Me: “Glad ur online, need sympathy. Feel shite.”
Stacie: “Wots up?”
Me: “Was out with usual crowd but it got messy. Stayed out 2 long on the ol’ vino.”
Stacie: “Silly cow. When will u learn? LMAO.”
Me: “Thanx 4 support.”
Stacie: “U knows I luvs u. <3”
Me: “OMG. Having flashback from hell.”
Stacie: “And… ;D”
Me: “Came home and went into my garden, thght fresh air wld help drunkness. Got out there and heard two people having sex in garden next door. Snuck a peek through fence to see who it was… Was scared shitless wot I’d see, as neighbours r Octogenarians… “
Stacie: “Eeww. You looked? Nasty.”
Me: “I know… Anyways, who did I bloody see? Tinkerbell!!!!!! “
Stacie: “You’re taking the piss??????”
Me: “Seriously. She had wings, a sparkly dress, badly bleached hair and was about the height of Barbie.”
Stacie: “You sure it wasn’t Barbie?”
Me: “No, she was a ‘fully functioning’ fairy who liked a bit of action. Not only was she having sex with the ‘Ken’ of the fairy World but other fairies were watching and cheering.”
Stacie: “Tinkerbell is a dogger? LOL.”
Me: “Yep. And when she saw me she laughed; then gave me the finger. At that point I passed out as next thing woke up in the garden this morning.”
Stacie: “Classy 😉 Listen love, I suggest you don’t go back to that pub again as think someone slipped something in ur drinks. Got to go. Speak l8trs. x.”
I sat at the table wondering which bastard had drugged me when I noticed a black mark on my hand. I tried to rub it off but it wouldn’t shift. I looked at it closely and it was a note:
‘Glad you enjoyed the show! See ya nxt wk. 😉 Tx’
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Word count – 300
Fabulously Fast Fables 