How to stop a stalker

Pre-‘ramble’ – This story started off with the title “How to stalk a stalker” but after playing about with for a while I realised I wasn’t doing the title justice.  So parked the title and kept the story.  Hope to go back to the original one day but for now here’s a lesson I don’t think any of us should follow….


I had a stalker.  She reached out to me every day, in different ways, hoping I’d respond.   Doing whatever she could to be part of my life.

I never made any promises I couldn’t keep, but still she pursued me.  ‘It was fun.’  I’d say.  ‘I cannot commit.’  Don’t want to, won’t.  She listened but didn’t hear.

I wanted to understand why, but mostly wanted it to stop.  So I became a stalker.  Her stalker.

It’s not a difficult thing to do, patience is the key.  All I had to do was follow her after she’d followed me.   She never looked, never suspected.

As I watched I began to pity her failing and empty life.  Our few meet ups had been highlights for her.  She wanted my life but it was mine and I wanted it back.

They say people learn in different ways, so I decided to try something new to get my message across.

Decaying roses sent to her office.  Smashing her car windscreen.  Dead & bloodied rats on her doorstep.   Finally she heard and responded.

The Police said I was at fault, not her.  She was the defenceless one, she’d done nothing wrong.  I hadn’t kept the proof, hadn’t needed reminding she was ruining my life.

They say I can start again when I get out of prison.  I hope so.  If not I will be in here for life after I have taken hers.


Word count – 238


They’ll be here in a minute

Pre-‘ramble’ –  So far I have received a number of great ideas for titles but once in a while comes along that just resonates with you.  I don’t know why this title resonated with me but it did and I couldn’t wait to get a story down for it.   


“Sssh.  They’ll be here in a minute.”

Bob gave Jack a suspicious sideways glance, “Who’ll be here?  Thought this was just a football and beer night.”

“Sssh.  You’ll annoy them.”  Jack whispered.

Bob was ready to explode, he didn’t do surprises.   “For fuck sake Jack what’s going on?”

Jack got to his feet, “Please be quiet, they won’t be happy.  You must shut up now!”

“Mate you’re not funny.  Just wanted to watch the game but whatever shit you’ve taken has put a stop to that.  I’m outta here.”

“I warned you.” breathed Jack.

As Bob started to stand Jack wrapped a belt around his neck, he then quickly moved behind the sofa.  He pulled hard forcing Bob back onto the seat, the belt dug deep into his throat.

“I’m sorry.” wept Jack.  “I told you to be quiet, but you wouldn’t listen.”  Within minutes his friend was dead.

Jack stood up, wiped his tears, and moved forward to admire his work.

Bob was slumped on his side.  Jack knelt down resting his head on him and opened his mouth, “It’s ok, he’ll behave for you now.”

Hundreds of tiny men ran out of his mouth, all were burning with rage.  They ran all over Bob, stripping his clothes off as they went, before devouring the warm human flesh.

When they’d finished all that was left of Bob was his skeleton.  No blood.  No skin.  No heart.  Jack then opened his mouth and they all popped back in.

Jack knew what to do next.  He ground the bones into fine dust and mixed it into his flower beds.

Everyone who sees his garden asks how he gets his flowers to grow so beautifully.

The answer is always the same, “Bone meal.  The fresher the better.”


Word count – 296